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Submitted on
February 18, 2013
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29 (who?)
An echoing silence.
Haunts my bones,
I hate this feeling.
Of being alone.

An emptiness,
That I cannot fill.
I do not have the strength,
Nor the will.

What I've longed for,
Has gone and changed,
To form a monster,
One so strange.

I do hate,
What you have become.
You try and impress,

I hate myself,
For messing up,
One too many chances.
It's just my luck.

So I'll give up,
On thoughts I had.
It was just a trend,
A new found fad.

So many lies,
I'll fill my head.
Though it will haunt me,
Till I'm dead.

Even though I'm angry,
And though I am in pain.
It's not you,
Who I blame.

Being alone,
Is a pain I can't bear,
And though you're not who I want.
I still wish you were.
This is something that has been eating at me for ages, it's always there.
Sometimes other emotions will come and take its spot, but it's always there under my skin.
So when there's someone who that I've had feelings for, for a long time. Then the person changes, due to meeting new people who change him. So I realise that he isn't the same person, and I tell myself that he's not the one. It hurts, but it passes.
Then one day I'm sitting and he comes over, barely makes eye contact with me and I get a heavy feeling. That you miss it all, that feeling of butterflies when he's around the playful teases. Everything.
Now he's a different person, a stranger.
That's what hurts the most.
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I really like your rhythm, and you made a good use of the rhyme you had even though this is mostly free verse. Nice.
TheIndigoFeather Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much
AnimeVeteran Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Feels like this is happening to me right now. I'm watching it happen, and I may be in denial about it. Don't want to admit it, but I'd rather wait to face it when I absolutely have to.
Very well written, and a very clever conveyance of the feeling and emotion in this piece.
TheIndigoFeather Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Since I've been there I hate the feeling though maybe you still have a chance to fix it. Me on the other hand waited to long to realise it was gone.
Thank you ver much.
This is a wonderful piece, and as it already happened other times, I really can relate to what's written.

It's a real shame I haven't had much time to check your gallery as often as before, but this one visit (as expected) payed out.

Hope you're doing fine, and as always, it's a pleasure to read from you.
TheIndigoFeather Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, it means a lot. :)

Oh it's ok, I hear the real world takes up a lot of time lol

I'm doing better, thanks :)
TheChesherCat Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really interesting meter here, it was what caught my attention. One question: Did you mean for it to read "a pain I can't bare" as in, cannot reveal, or did you mean cannot carry? That would be "bear." But I like this piece, well done.
TheIndigoFeather Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hum I suppose it is bear now that I think about it, thanks for drawing that to my attention.
Why thank you :)
TheChesherCat Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem, glad to help.
TheIndigoFeather Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
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