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I sayI say I don't care, but I really do.
I say I'm ok, but if you really knew.
I say that I'll wait, but it already feels so long.
I say that I can do it, but I really can't carry on.
I say that I'll stay, but I really want to go.
I say that I'm fine, but I really feel low.
I wish I could say all the things that are true, but I know that's something I could never do.
Am I?Am I strong? I feel weak.
I feel overwhelmed,
It all seems bleak.
Am I right? I feel wrong.
I’ve ruined everything,
All I loved is gone.
Am I happy? I feel sad.
I’m lonely and depressed.
It feels like I’ve lost everything I ever had.
Am I whole? I feel broken.
I feel like I’m spilt in two.
My tongue ripped out, no more words can be spoken.
Am I ever going to feel okay again?
No one knows, my dear friend
RestlessHaunting voices torment my sleep.
Growing pressures pull me to the dark so deep.
Heavy weights upon my chest.
Losing will, I cannot rest.
Nightmares grow in strong daylight.
A losing battle, one I cannot fight.
Tears do not fix, nor ease the pain.
For all I do seems in vain.
Feeling useless, feeling spent.
Would it best if I went,
Far away, never to return.
To run from the pain that bites and burns.
Far away, in a foreign bed,
Still unable to rest my head.
The maskI opened up to let you see, behind the mask, the real me.
Everyone else can see this mask for I'm afraid to reveal my past.
A pearly face and a glowing smile, Below it all a dying child.
The cracks in the mask are now starting to show, I can no longer be your glow.
For the more I fret, the weaker I get, I fear someday I shall fall, a worrying thought to lose it all.
How wonderful my life is, now your in my worldOne big blur my life used to be, but now I see it in perfect clarity.
You show me life the way it's meant to be, you make me truly happy.
You treat me so well I can't thank you enough for the things you do, I've fallen so deeply in love with you.
Every day I wake up, I thank the heavens you're mine, my other half till the end of time.
My perfect match, my missing piece, my dear you complete me.
Cliché as it seems I want you to know, I really do love you so.
So my love I write to you, I speak my words, humble and true.
A little verse for you to see, just how much you mean to me.
NightmaresNightmare torment my peaceful rest, fear grips tightly at my chest.
My racing heart misses a beat, as the monster sees me as something to eat.
Trying to run but my legs do not move, screaming for help what do I do?
Grabbed by both arms I am taken away, were evil is taking me they do not say.
Closer and closer to my peril I reach, I wake up with a deathly screech.
Sugar coated fabricationsSugar coated fabrications, things I want to hear
A little lie and a peaceful sigh
A quick fix to ease my fears.
It starts off soft with ‘little white ones’
A little more each day, a few more couldn’t hurt
Or could they?
More and more you’re into deep, there is no turning back
You’ve sold your story and your soul
As you wash that bitter taste down with a little Jack
Fabricating your whole life, pretending you're something you're not
It makes you no better, no favors you gain
Yet you do it over and over again
Wrong side of the mirrorI can see a woman, watching me through the glass. She is young, in her early twenties, with a haunted look about her. There is nothing especially spectacular about her, but something something quietly remarkable draws you in; captures your attention; fixes you to the spot.
Her eyes are a slate grey, intense and piercing; a dark energy smouldering in their depths. You notice that they glow a deep blue, like the ocean, when caught by the morning light, sometimes even the shade of a pale winter sky. A subtle ring of gold accents the border between her pupils and irises, which hold a faint sparkle of mischief against their black voids.
A shock of tight, red curls, messy yet somehow precise, frames her face. The sides of her hairstyle are trimmed short, not quite a mohawk; showing her natural gold-tinted brown. You could almost imagine her as one of the blond, adorable, cherub children, if not for the shadows of experience marking her features.
Beautiful is not a word that suits her, and de
Ugly.As a young child, new to the world, pure of it's intoxicating fumes, I remember a tree.
Such an ugly tree I remembered it to be.
It stood tall, creeping a good ways above any of the others, but it was disfigured in many ways.
Its branches were thin and fragile, like the bones of a sickly human, they twisted in retched ways that anyone would think should snap them clean off.
It was pale and grey, standing out among its fellow familiars, never to show the beautiful colors that it must have held within.
Its bark was edgy and course, as if it had survived through one of to many harsh winters, never falling from its place.
And I remember, as the others land succumbed to failling, giving themselves up, withering away, that tree never did.
It continued to stand tall, proud and majestic as that ugly tree could possibly seem.
It fought its way through whatever was thrown its way, fought until it could no more, never failing whatever duty it believed it needed to fulfill.
When Home Becomes a Prison (Strength)When your pillow is no longer the fresh place to lay your emaciated spirit
But is now the chain on the ball that is your bed.
When a door is no longer the entrance to a retreat from the world
But a metaphorical lock keeping you ensconced, never stepping foot out into it.
When windows suddenly become looking glasses that never break,
Just heckle you with what you're missing in their transparent prisons.
A token of what you used to be in the faces of the people walking passed.
The people who pay no note to you;
Who have no inclination of what they are; the symbols of your long-ago life.
The sharp splinters of nostalgia that just glimpsing upon their face sends into your heart.
Every time they walk their dog,
You grimace because you cannot walk long enough to do the same for yours.
Constant reminders in everything everyone does in everywhere you go
of the things you are losing without control.
You clutch and grasp while slipping into sliding as you clasp onto what is left o
My HeartYou know you’re truly in love if hearing her name, even if it’s not being referred to her, fills you up with undefinable joy. You know you’re truly in love when you remember how your voice trembled when you called her and read her the letter, asking her to be your girlfriend. You know you’re truly in love if the pure thought of feeling her soft skin on yours makes you shudder with delight. You know you’re truly in love if, she’s not only the first and last thing on your mind every day, but also after every meal, every motion, every book, every song, every breath. You know you’re truly in love when 771 miles isn’t the distance you are away from each other, but rather the amount of roads, bridges, and rivers you’d cross to get to her. You know you’re truly in love if every song you hear you can connect to the overwhelming joy and the infinite sorrow she makes you feel. You know you’re truly in love when you write a story a
Dear JamesI placed a candle on the water for you today. It flickered and floated and gathered with candles of other losses; fathers, friends – whoever. It was as hard as letting you go; if that candle drifted away from me then would I lose you again? When they scooped the candle from the water and your flame went out who would remember that I honoured you? So I took your candle from the water and placed it into my bag. Not because I can’t let you go but because I want to remember. I will light that candle to remember you on special days.
James darling, I missed you more today than any other. I know I will miss you more again at Christmas, on your birthday and on the day you died. You are an angel but you are still with me – in the heart covered by the tattoo of your name. The ink came from within, seeping up through my skin and not down.
I am grateful for the two sonograms I have of you, yet part of me yearns to know what your face would have looked like. Would you have his thi
SaturdaysBrought into this world on a rainy Saturday morning
No memories of the years that follow
Until the pain
Eyes of a beast
Tears of a child
Walls subconsciously building to keep the child safe
But are the walls for safety or containment
Blood and bone breaking
Screaming into the night
True Love: Part one
Finding true love yourself, it is quite rare these days. But once you’ve met your special one, once you’ve looked into their eyes, you will know that something big is about to happen, if you realise it or not .. it will.
You will know deep inside, when your heart starts to skip a beat, when you want to simply grab her and kiss her until you both run out of breath.
True love is not about what you have to offer, is about how much are you willing to give, to share and sacrifice for her. It is about trying to make her happy at any given point, out of nowhere, cause you wanted so. It is about sharing your thoughts with her, telling her that you’re scared of losing her someday .. she will simply kiss your nose and tell you “silly, you’re never going to lose me”.True love is beyond physical attraction, if two souls get united, the reaction will be so powerful that absolutely no one can separate you, ever.
Hidden Language"Is he ok?"
Is he alive?
"Is he alright?"
Is he breathing?
"Is he sleeping?"
Is he dead...?
Stay or Leave?"Don't get mad. I don't like it."
"Don't cry. I don't like it."
"Don't be sad. I don't like it."
"Don't smile. I don't like it."
"Don't laugh. I don't like it"
"Don't be you. I don't like it"
Then what am I supposed to do?
Then who am I?
You're saying you don't like me.
But you stay with me.
To change me into someone else
So that I don't exist anymore
I'm tired of it
I'm tired of changing
But I don't stop
I'm able to but I don't
Because you are the only one left
If you're gone,
I'll be left behind
All over again
But if you stay
I won't exist
But it wouldn't matter anyways.
I live to dream, I live to love.I live to dream, I live to love,
I live to do all of the above.
Your smile like honey, it fills my heart with joy,
Your beautiful tone as you speak, I don't interrupt, not a peep.
I bite my lips and try and hide but oh how you make me feel inside, there are just there are just no words that can describe.
I live to dream, I live to love and hope,
maybe we could elope?
I joke because you'll probably never know how I really feel,
and I know it take time for wounds to heal.
But let me be a cure.
I live to dream, I live to love.
Maybe some day it will be enough.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More